


The fractured plate revenge

by PixelGa1axy, S4mmyS4m



Series: Y/Ns' bizarre adventures [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, First Dates, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, Spoilers for The Fractured But Whole, i guess, this is not a serious attempt at a fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29580441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixelGa1axy/pseuds/PixelGa1axy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/S4mmyS4m/pseuds/S4mmyS4m
Summary: Your date with Craig at Shi- City Wok doesn't go so well. Who would've thought?
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Reader
Series: Y/Ns' bizarre adventures [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098323
Kudos: 2





	The fractured plate revenge

You hear the South Park intro playing on the radio as you stare down your date. Craig stares back, not intimidated by you in the slightest. How weird, all the other fourth-graders ran when they saw your big frame, after all, you were quite tall for a 9 year old.

He shifted awkwardly in his chair, this staring competition at Shity- uh... City Wok had been going on for 5 minutes now and neither of you had said anything.

"Dude, this is boring. Also, I have a-" you cut him off, you didn't need Craig telling you that he had a boyfriend. One, you didn't care, two, this was your date and not his and Tweek’s. Who needed that caffeine addicted dumbass anyway? Your energy drink addiction was superior to his. After all, Energy drinks were a lot cooler.

"The service here is really bad.", you say, "They still haven't come to serve our table.” You take a sip from your drink.

He stares at you for a moment before getting up, "This is boring, I'm leaving."

"No!" you shout and jump up. He couldn't just walk out on you like that! "I'll buy you a Guinea pig!" you say in a panic.

"I already have one," he replies.

"But I can buy you another one," you reason.

"I don't want one from you," he says, before he turns around and leaves.

"Wait! Craig, no!" you run after him, but the owner of Shi- City Wok stops you.

"You cannot leave without paying for shity drink!" he says.

You search through your Louis Vuitton bag, but you can’t find your Chanel wallet. Fuck! You had thought Craig would pay for you, like a real gentleman, but he didn’t!

You laugh awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I forgot my wallet at home."

"Then you call parents to pay!" the owner says.

You pull out your iPhone 12 and call your mom. You hear her voice, "Busy right now, call again later, byyyyye." She hangs up. You were really in for it now. Your dad had died in a tragic wine glass accident five years ago, so your mom had been the only person who could've helped you out.

"Can I call for my friend?" you ask the owner. He nods and you poke your head out the door and call after Craig, "Hey! Craig! I need your help."

"What?" he turns around and looks at you.

"I forgot my wallet. Can you pay for my drink?" you ask.

"No, fuck you." he says, before turning around and continuing to walk away.

"Can I pay another time?" you ask awkwardly.

"No, now go wash dishes in kitchen!" the owner says.

How did you deserve this? Washing dishes in the kitchen? Craig was so ungentlemanly! You would get your revenge on him once you were out of here! That's what you had thought about for the last few hours, that you spent washing dishes.

"Shity Wok closing, you go home!" the owner says. You leave the restaurant, but not without packing a few plates, that you had broken throughout the afternoon, into your Loui Vuitton bag that you would hit Craig with once you found him.

You search through the entire town and finally find him in front of the gate to Mephesto's genetic lab, playing superheroes with his friends.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Clyde asks, voice muffled by the red vuvuzela over his nose.

You ignore him and take a swing at Craig instead, but you end up hitting Kenny and he dies.

Everyone stares at you as you try to comprehend that you are about to be a mass murderer.

You take another swing with your plate-shard filled Loui Vuitton bag, but miss completely and tumble as the energy drink withdrawal starts to take effect.

"They killed Kenny!" Tweek screams.

"What an asshole," Cartman says. The new kid turns to look at him briefly, before realizing that Cartman is, in fact, not talking to them.

But whatever they may say, you are determined. Energy drink withdrawal or not, you're going to kill Craig. You prepare to take another swing, but the new kid punches you in the face. You fall onto your bag. The shards pierce your skin and puncture your lungs.

"Fuck you, Craig." you manage before you die.

You wake up on your reading chair, PS4 controller in hand and game running. The South Park kids are staring at you from the TV screen.

"How long now? - Right about six hours,” it comes from your headphones.

You remember your dream clearly, but you shouldn't have been able to feel pain, how odd. It occurs to you that you shouldn’t be in pain right now either, but something sharp is still clearly in your back. You stand up and turn around to look. There’s your Loui Vuitton bag, filled with glass shards, standing where your back just was.

You had prepared it to kill your husband Mark, for sleeping with your neighbor Marc.

"Fuck!" you think, as the blood loss gets to you and you collapse.

**Author's Note:**

> S4mmyS4m:  
> Idk if the existence of a Craig x reader tag should concern me or not.


End file.
